so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
