i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
