I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
