I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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