Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
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