just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Be still, my beating vagina.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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