Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
