Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Can vaginas get frostbite?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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