I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
