If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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