Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
