honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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