exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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