i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
