OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
