im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
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