i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
