it's too hot outside to masturbate.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
its liver damage thursday
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
