Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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