My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
