Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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