Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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