Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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