just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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