Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
