Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
