I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
