I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
We have so much sex to catch up on
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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