I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize