bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
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