i permit you to call me
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
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