I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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