I hate all girls vehemently.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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