is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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