Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
