I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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