Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
