The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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