I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
