so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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