I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
