On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize