Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
