We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
