Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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