i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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