i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
She bit a glass in half.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
