It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
this hospital has no fireball
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
