She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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