Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
