speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
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