Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You took a bar mat shot.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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