And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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