Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
