I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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