I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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