you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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