So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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