when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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