Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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