I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
