Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
